Unplanned Parenthood

Posted on Fri Mar 8th, 2024 @ 6:26pm by Ensign Anya Bagh & Ensign Henry Ivo
Edited on on Fri Mar 8th, 2024 @ 6:29pm

2,173 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Personal Logs
Location: Ivo and Bagh's quarters
Timeline: 10 hours after the events of Fides

Anya stepped out of the shower, finally getting a chance to be off again. The events of the night still buzzed through her head.

She never thought she could hate a person more than Julian. The fact that he literally slipped through her fingers still made her blood boil.

She knew that Lila and Felix were in sickbay. She needed a few moments to gather herself before going to get them.

Before she was able to do so, there was a chime at the door.

“Just a moment” She quickly threw on her pajamas before opening the door.

Henry almost fled when he heard her coming to the door, but he knew this conversation needed to happen, and talking now would be better than agonizing over it later, so he stayed rooted to the spot until the door opened. Technically, this was still his quarters as well, but he had no interest in startling her. Not when he knew exactly how talented a martial artist she was. He still jumped when the door opened. “Anya....” his voice was high with tension, and he cleared his throat. “I promised you an explanation.” He told her softly.

A flash of relief washed over her face as she saw him in the doorway. She motioned to the sofa in their living room. “This is still your place too, you know.” She stated matter of factly. “I would like an explanation, yes, but there are bigger questions that we'll have afterwards, I'm sure.” She went to the replicator, tapping a button instead of speaking a command. A mug of warm milk appeared. She brought it to the coffee table, setting it in front of the living chair. “What would you like?” Her mood and reactions seemed fairly measured so far, as if she hadn't taken off her uniform yet.

Henry watched her moving around. He rather thought he might prefer it if she shouted at him; her calm, measured tone made him nervous for reasons he did not understand. “Oh, um, nothing for me right now, thank you.” He told her, sitting down nervously on the couch. “...I know it's my place, too, but...well, I wasn't sure I'd be welcome, after everything that’s happened, and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.”

She sat in the chair and sighed.
“It would make me more uncomfortable to have to have my coworkers escort you here. To them, I have already assaulted a prisoner, mostly unprompted.” She looked to the floor. “At least the captain and TJ talked some sense into me. I'm surprised they let me out of the cell.TJ knows how I can get when I'm aggravated.” Her gaze shifted back to him.

“Before I say much more, I have a few guesses, but I want to hear everything from you. How did this happen?”

Henry sighed, putting one hand through his hair. “I'm still not entirely sure how he got to Sean,” he admitted softly. “Charles was... he got hit in the head playing paresi squares. It was a senseless accident, something no one thinks will be fatal, but...he was brain dead by the time he got to the hospital.” Henry said this like it was a rote answer, something he’d explained over and over and over, to the point where there was little emotion involved in it. “It was the last time we were going to see him. There was no hope for treatment, and I couldn't...” he swallowed, hard. “I couldn't let him live that way. That's not living. I let Seany say goodbye; he was four, he didn't really understand what death was, but he did understand that his papa was hurt and wasn't coming home. He needed closure, too. But I didn't want him to overhear me talking to the doctors, so I took him down to the Federation-run daycare attached to the hospital. When I came back for him, he was gone, and one of the people there gave me a PADD with Julian’s contact information on it.” Henry put his head in his hands, not wanting Anya to see the tears on his cheeks.

Anya stared at the milk on the table.

“The depression makes more sense now.” She whispered as she held herself back a moment. She took a sip, trying to straighten out which question even made sense at this point.

“Seany?” she smiled wistfully “I like the name.” Anya blinked a few times, her eyes still not meeting his. “Does he remember you? Did you ever get to see him?”

“...yes. Supervised, always, but if I...if I did well, he’d let me see him.” Henry’s voice was choked.

She couldn’t stop herself from moving to the couch beside him and wrapping her arms around him.

“parmaq…” all traces of the even calculated tone she had before were gone. She held him as long as he would let her.

Whatever hold Henry had been keeping on his emotions dissolved when he felt her arms around him, and he broke down into heaving sobs. It felt like all the heartbreak and tension of the last five years was pouring out all at once--along with awed disbelief that Anya was still willing to sit there and hold him, despite the pain of betrayal he’d been forced to put her through.

“I was worried I wouldn't see you again.” She whispered as she held him.

“...I was worried...you wouldn't want to...see me again.” He managed to gasp through his sobs.

She stroked his hair gently holding him until he could calm a bit. A few tears fell down her cheeks.

“Of course I wanted to see you. It took all my training to not burst into the ready room, knowing you were in there.” Anya stilled her hand on him. “I wanted to make sure you were ok.” Another tear rolled down her cheek.

Henry chuckled through his tears. “I don't think that would have gone well. But...I'm glad you still like me.” He cuddled closer to her.

“So what are your plans now?” She sniffled as she stroked his back gently before pulling her hand away. She made a mental note to get it fixed when she went to pick up the kittens.

Henry sighed. “I don't know. I thought I'd be in prison by now--or at least facing a court martial. I suppose, if they’ll let me, I’ll just keep going here. Except now I’ll have Seany too, which we need to talk about.” He looked away. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him.”

“After tonight, I understand why.” She lowered her eyes. “Does Seany know about me?” Her voice came out as just above a whisper.

“No, I visited him earlier, but...well, neither of us were very coherent,” Henry replied sheepishly. “It was the first time we’ve been able to visit freely in five years. Wasn't a lot of talking happening.”

Anya nodded. “That makes sense.” She bit her lip. “How do you want to handle that? I mean do you even want me to meet him?” She gave the same melancholy smile “Kids don't usually see me as comforting.”

“Of course I want you to meet him! You’re family.” Henry exclaimed, then he looked a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so forceful. It's just...” he looked at her, a little shyly. “You’re one of the main reasons I finally decided to...you know...come clean and face whatever consequences that came of it.”

Anya jumped a little and blinked, moving her hands off him. “Ok, I just wasn't sure what to expect.” She bit her lip. “Do you want him to live with us or do you want to have your own quarters with him again? Five years is a long time to be away from people, especially your dad.”

“I'd like to have all of us living together, but that's a choice you and he have to make, too.” Henry replied with a sigh. “He’s nine now, that's old enough to make some choices, and I wouldn't want him to live with someone he doesn't like. And you were hardly expecting to have to share space with a child when you decided to get involved with me. I understand, if you’d rather not.”

“It’s very sudden, but it would be like Ms. Brunhilde's all over again. Without as strict a curfew I hope.” An actual smile crossed her face as she held his hand with her right hand. “I would be ok having him here. As he is old enough to have input, maybe we should ask him?”

“Let me talk to him about you, first. But yes, we should ask him.” Henry agreed, reaching for her other hand.

Pulled her left hand back at first before letting him take it. “I was going to get it fixed when we went to get Lila and Felix…” she trailed off

He raised an eyebrow at her and took her hand, turning it palm-up so that he could see the half moon shaped cuts she’d made with her fingernails. He stared at the cuts for a long moment, inexplicably feeling tears biting at his eyes, and he lifted her hand, kissing her palm tenderly (careful to avoid the wounds themselves).

“It was either me or the console since I couldn't get to Julian…” she shook her head. “I should have left the bridge. I wasn't in my right mind.” She closed her eyes. “The only reason I didn't was because Sean needed his dad back.”

“...I'm glad you didn't. Leave, I mean. When we got back... I didn't think you’d want to see me. But you were still waiting for me, even though I couldn't talk to you right away.” He looked down at their entwined hands. “I...I hope we’ll always wait for each other.”

She brought up his hand and kissed his knuckles. “As long as you are willing to talk to me.”

Henry smiled at her. “Always, parmaq.”

She smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

“So, what about me made you decide to do this now?”

Henry looked away. “When I realized that you’re my family, too--and that I was jeopardizing that, with every moment I remained silent. And...when I found out Julian wanted the kids, and I realized that meant the kittens, too... I couldn’t see my new family destroyed, or all those other families deprived of their own children. There are some lines we don’t cross, and I found mine.”

Anya nodded. “I think we have the same line.” She closed her eyes. “Growing up, all I ever wanted was a family. Someone to come home to and be safe with… Seeing all those kids taken away from their families, then knowing one was yours… I almost snapped.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Henry took her hand. “I know. I think I’ll always get dry throated when I think about what could have happened to Seany...and...the fact that I...risked his life to prevent that from happening to any other family.” He choked on the words, that terror still very much present.

“You did the right thing, parmaq.” She hugged him close, trying to ease his fears. “It was a risk you had to take to get him and the other children to safety.”

He hugged her back, tightly, hiding his face in her shoulder for whatever comfort that might bring. “No parent should ever have to risk their children like that, Anya.” He whispered against her skin.

She closed her eyes while taking another deep breath and exhaling. “I don't disagree.” Anya's voice was sharper. She didn't move except to take another deep breath.

“I can't imagine how you are feeling. All I feel is rage ” She moved her left hand away, this time trying to just curl it instead of digging into herself.

“I want revenge. Not just for you, but for Seany, Lila, Felix, and my ship.” She took another breath. “You are more important though.” She calmed a bit before holding him again. “What can I do for you? How can I make you feel better?”

Henry swallowed hard. He knew the anger would come later for him, but right now all he felt was relief, and profound joy that everything had turned out as well as it had. He looked up at Anya’s face--Anya, who did not blame him for all he had done, and was still willing to sit there and listen to him cry. He decided he wanted to see her smile again, so he reached up and cupped her cheek, gently turning her head to look at him. “....want to come with me to sickbay? There are some children who need us. Both of us.”

“If that is what would make you feel better, then yes.”

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