I...don't exist?

Posted on Fri Aug 21st, 2020 @ 12:33am by Commander Jayla Rollands & Lieutenant Nydia Holt

1,112 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Joint Logs
Location: Rolland's Office

Feeling, well, she didn't know how she should feel about this information. Nydia stopped in the corridor and looked to the PADD again. She'd downloaded her records onto it and frowned. There was still the disconnect from her actual experience that was slowly fracturing, but still, it was very... disconcerting and uncomfortable to have found this information.

She hadn't done much investigation before she decided that the command team needed to know. So, there she was, heading down the corridor toward Commander Rolland's office. She started walking again and immediately ran into someone else. "Ooooh! I'm so sorry!" She said, steadying the other person with one hand. "I... wasn't paying attention."

The man she ran into said something about not paying attention either and then skirted around her, heading off to do whatever it was that he was doing. She watched him for a moment and then turned back toward Rolland's office. When she arrived, she pressed the chime and then started bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet. 'How do I even tell her what I found?' she thought, chewing her lip.

A new stack of PADDs had appeared on her desk, information ranging from what ships had been where during different times that were big in the Potemkin's history, family information she had yet to dare even look at, given what was happening before things changed. Plus who knew what else.

Jayla had not gotten any sleep at all, though it wasn't for lack of trying. She was completely exhausted, but was trying to focus on the work. The moment the chime went off indicating someone was wanting to see her in her office, she was welcoming of the break.

"Come in," she finally stated.

Stepping through the doors, Nydia looked around. "Hi Commander... I um... don't want to add to your workload... but I came across something that may cause problems down the road..." She stepped forward slightly, but didn't say much more. She bounced nervously, chewing her lip again.

"Nydia?" Jayla sat back. "Please, have a seat. What is it? You look more than a little uncertain about something."

Taking the seat, she looked down at the PADD in her hands. "Uhm... Commander, I know it's probably in my file, but did I tell you that I was nearly killed by my twin sister at the age of seventeen?"

Nodding, Jayla frowned. "Nyds, what is it? What did you find?"

"In this timeline... I.... didn't..." She handed the PADD over, which contained a news article and an official investigation report that had been presented at her sister's trial. "I didn't survive... I'm... supposed to be dead."

Eyes going wide and taking the PADD, the Commander wasn't sure what to think. "I knew there was supposed to be changes but this? We sent Starfleet information, and your name was on the list...how could they not say anything?" She looked back to Nydia. "Are you okay?"

"Maybe they thought it was a mistake? Or they didn't know who I was," she looked down at her hands and then back up. "I mean, I hadn't enrolled in Starfleet at the time, so I wouldn't be on their records." Nydia paused and wiped at her face a little. "Yeah... uhm... shocked, and confused, but I think I'll be ok... I... I'll make an appointment with Dr. Ceja though! Promise! I just... thought it best to tell you first!"

"Thank you, for both of those. I don't blame you for being confused. I have a stack of new things about my family that I haven't even touched yet." Bringing up something on her monitor, Jayla quickly downloaded Nydia's actual Starfleet information. "At least we have this and can update them. If you need to talk, you can talk with me too. Hell, I've seen a different version of myself be killed in front of me so..."

"Really? That must have been weird..." Nydia shook her head. "I, uhm, still don't have full memory of what happened to me, but bits and pieces are coming back to me, but yeah, this was... weird..." She sighed and shook her head. "But you saw a different version of yourself get killed? Why were they killed? Were they good like you? Or bad? Or... oh... sorry... you don't have to share if you don't want to!"

Jayla smiled at the questions. "I understand all the issues with memories and such. Just, take your time and if you need time off just say something." She sat back again. "As for watching myself be killed? Evil version of me. Has nightmares for a bit but they've faded. Was a while ago. With how many different realities or whatever I've been through, I'm honestly surprised I'm still sane."

"Sane is relative," Nydia said with a shrug. "But I mean, before joining the 'Tem, I didn't believe in vampires. And yet, we've got Keddem as living proof. And plants that have consciousness and try to kill people? That was crazy," she giggled. "Maybe we've all gone mad and don't know it."

"That is a good point, sane is relative. I guess we just deal with the punches as they come, right? I mean, were it not for this reality, I wouldn't be married or have my daughter so." Jayla shrugged right back. "I don't think any of us are getting any sleep until we finally get through all this."

"Yeah, that'll be fun," Nydia said with another giggle. "Sleep deprived and trying to make sense of this timeline we're in. I mean, how did we even get into a different timeline?"

The first officer shook her head, "Honestly? I don't have any idea how many I've lived through, or how many I'm currently in. I remember living out my life but yet that history didn't happen. I remember my daughter growing up to be a doctor but that didn't happen. So many things. I try to focus on what I actually have. You should focus on the fact that you're actually here."

"That must be weird. I don't recall any other timeline," Nydia said, shaking her head. "But I mean, I barely remember my own timeline as it is." She giggled and stood up. "I should let you get back to your own work. I'll go see if I can get an appointment with Dr. Ceja and maybe go spend some time in the arboretum."

Watching Nydia go through the door, Jayla knew she was right. Gathering up the PADDs she still had to look through, she headed back to her quarters. She needed the hug from her daughter and to see her husband.

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